You Can’t Please Everybody (WHYYYYYY??!?!??!?!?!?!)

I don’t google myself anymore. I don’t search for my name on Twitter. Not because I’m not a self-obsessed narcissist (I am) but because if somebody’s saying something nasty about me online, I’d just rather not know.

Then the other day, while checking out comments on my charity fundraiser photo which a dear friend had kindly shared on her wall, I saw a comment from somebody I don’t know, referring to me: “I didn’t think she was funny.”

Cue me trying my best to fulfil my desire to be one of those cool people who just doesn’t give a hoot what anybody thinks, but you know…I’m just not. Indeed, sometimes I think I’m just too damn sensitive for this whole public performing gig. I mean, come on. In terms of things to say about somebody online, that one is pretty damn tame. And nice, actually, when you consider the way this person even worded it: “I didn’t think…” THANK YOU! Actually acknowledging it for what it is: an opinion.

But yes, point is, reading it still felt like a little jab in my well-padded guts.

Then yesterday, on another friend’s wall, one who again shared the fundraising photo, another comment, again from a stranger, saying: “I love that girl!”

Again, written as an opinion.

So who is right?

Am I funny? Am I not?

They’re both right.

I’m funny to some. Not to others.

And while I’d like to say I’m okay with that – not desperately hoping that I can be THE ONE PERSON IN THE HISTORY OF THE PLANET WHO HAS APPEALED TO EVERYBODY ALIVE – I’m…working on it.

Insert your own punchline-that-appeals-to-your-comic-sensibility here.

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  1. September 20, 2012

    It was my ma-in-law that wrote “love that girl” – her and Jon’s step-dad came down from north Qld to see us and Woodford last year and watched you perform while they were at the festival – they were smitten!
    You’re right Jen, you can’t please everyone. However, you certainly do please a lot – including many people you’ve never met, like Elaine and Larry!
    Keep doing what you’re doing because it’s excellent work and we sure love it xxx

  2. September 20, 2012

    Awwww, how sweet! Well tell Elaine and Larry (what great names too!) I love em right back. Those words really came at a good time for me. Sensitive little soul that I am!

    Thanks for the support. xox

  3. Franipantz
    September 21, 2012

    Hey Jen! It’s so easy to listen to negatives and take them on board more than we do the positives. “I think” the reason is simple. Positive feedback is easy to receive. We accept it graciously and bask in the glow for a short time. Negatives can affect us more, last much longer and call on us to be better, to improve, to strive to make everyone happy all of the time which is both irritating and damn right exhausting. Of course, it’s impossible. Some people just don’t get ‘it’. But it does explain why it bothers us so much. Be BETTER? When you’re doing what you think is your absolute MAXimum in whatever you strive at, the thought of being even better can at first be a mind blowing destructive concept. But, then, after you stop ‘feeling’ about it, perhaps you might see the little voice inside that says – hey but I CAN please everyone. I can be better, I can be funnier, I can succeed in ways they haven’t even thought of yet, and I WILL MAKE THEM GOD DAMN LAUGH!!! In my case, it’s I WILL MAKE THEM SEE AND APPRECIATE EVERYTHING I DO AND HOW AMAZING I AM. Because I know I’m amazing. You know you’re amazing. Sometimes you just have to find that key to making everyone else realise that. Sure, maybe you can’t please everyone all of the time. But there’s no harm and no shame in trying. “I think” that negatives are actually more productive feedback then positives. They make me try harder. And I continually surprise myself with how much better I can be, even if I’m amazing already.

  4. Franipantz
    September 21, 2012

    In other words – welcome criticism!!! They will help you grow even more amazing!!! bastards.

  5. September 23, 2012

    Thanks Franny! I see your point, and I totally agree that criticism – when constructive – is incredible in terms of getting better! Having said that though, I think I really want to try and focus on being better at pleasing the people who are already on my wavelength, peeps that “get me”and I “get them”, you know…and just be better at doing it for them. I really want to get to a point where I’m not bothered at all by the ones who, you know, “just aren’t that into me!”

    • Franipantz
      September 24, 2012

      This is SO true Jen! I thought after I wrote my comment that perhaps I might seem unsupportive by offering an alternative way to take the negative because deep down I think you’re right. We have to remember that some people are mean, petty, insecure or just plain jealous in some way and can’t find it in themselves to see the funny side of anything. Perhaps it’s not that you’re not funny to people, perhaps they are amused by really sick stuff rather than good wholesome funny. Shutting out their negative comments is something only you can do for you and I’m sure you’ll find a way not to let it bother you. Stuff ’em. Keep doing what you do and if some people don’t like it they can suck their own toes or cut off their own limbs, whatever turns them on more 😉

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