Today Would Have Been My Mum’s 60th

Making cookies 1983-ish. She passed away in 1984.

Right now, were she here, I’ve no doubts at all that there would be celebrations a-plenty, much of which would revolve around music.

But you know. She’s not. And we’re not.

So instead, on this day, I want to just think of her and smile. You know? Be happy. Remember the good times. Yet if I’m being completely honest, it seems ridiculous to even try. I mean, how can you not tarnish even the most wonderful memories when the lens you’re looking at them through is made of grief?

But still. I try. Not for my sake, mind, but for hers. And the only reason I can even say that is because now that I’m a mother myself, I know that if I were – heaven forbid – not around to see my kids grow up, that would totally be what I would want for them.

To be able to remember me, for sure. But most importantly, to think of me and really, truly, deeply…smile.

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jennywynter Written by:

2 Comments

  1. November 16, 2010
    Reply

    Ah, Jenny,

    What a beautiful expression regarding your feelings about missing your mom!

    My mom died in 1995 at age 55 due to mestastatic breast cancer … even after all these years it can be hard to believe she isn’t here … and since my illness I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve only “wanted my mom!”

    It seems the tragedy of losing your mom influences the mom you are today … just from your posts and the pics you share it appears you are a “hands on”, wonderful mom.
    Thanks for sharing – it sparked my own ‘remembering’.

    • November 17, 2010
      Reply

      Thanks so much Peppy. So sorry to hear about your mother too – I’m sure your loss influences who you are too. I guess it’s inevitable, isn’t it? I do think there’s power in looking at the positive sides of it too. Not that I wouldn’t change things in a heartbeat if I could, but you know…you’re either gonna be defeated by it or let it change you for the better. I think.

      xxx

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