To Reproduce or Not to Reproduce: that is the question (or: “The Most Dubious Place for a Poll if Ever There Was One”)

Little Miss 8 patted my tummy this week and said this:

“Just look at my old home. There’s probably cobwebs in there by now. And I forgot to make the beds. And the grass needs mowing. You need to get somebody to live in there now!

Oh dear Lord.

The thing is, I’m not adverse to the idea of having another. I love kids. In fact, I find babies ridiculously more-ish. Kinda like Tim-Tams. (They even make me fat.)

My indecision is not so much based on “if”, but on “when.”

In some ways I think if we really are wanting to go for number four then we should just do it now to get it done. i.e. I’m already at home with the Cass-meister anyway. Plus I don’t really want to be raising children across four decades. Trying to keep up on the popular culture references alone would kill me.

But then on the other hand, I don’t want to disrupt the career momentum, which, since my car crash, I’ve only just begun to get back.

Then again, as I’ve written about here before, that’s probably always gonna be an issue. After all, there ain’t no right time to have a baby.

The thing is, I feel like I’ve got two clocks ticking here: my biological one and my career one.

The biological one for obvious reasons, the career one because, as much as I hate it, the reality is that in entertainment, the opportunities do markedly shift once you’re a female above a certain age. I hate it, but it’s the way things are. Yet, what does that mean in terms of my family planning? Do I just hold off having another baby to focus on getting a career break that may not even happen? Or do I go for it in the trust that family is first and foremost and that if the career stuff happens, it happens and if it doesn’t, that’s okay too?

Agh.

Whaddya do?

Well, apparently if you’re me, you do this.

Hmmm. I wonder if this means I’ve been blogging too long.

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jennywynter Written by:

2 Comments

  1. April 8, 2011
    Reply

    Hey Jen,

    I’m not going to vote in your poll, because it’s such a personal decision, and while I realise it’s done tongue-in-cheek, I’d feel very awkward!

    All I can say is that you have three. Three! That’s an amazingly large number of children. I’d say you’re doing pretty well.

    I come from a family of two kids, and I can’t ever imagine having any more than that. And of course, there’s the issue that I don’t even know if I will have kids at all. I’m 30 now, it’s probably something I should *think* about, but after reading a few Mummy blogs now and then, it just seems completely difficult. I realise there’s supposed to be a whole “oh, but they make your life infinitely better” etc etc, but I don’t know that I’m capable. Some may call me selfish. Perhaps that’s true.

    I guess I’m coming from the point of view of going “I’m 30, and haven’t achieved the fame, fortune etc I think I want”. You’ve got kids already! And you’re only 32. Your biological clock still has plenty of ticks on it!

    But I don’t know. To me, it seems like the more kids you have, the more of you has to go to them. But perhaps I’m wrong. Perhaps you may as well have 10 kids once you have one.

    It comes down to whatever makes you happy. I realise I’m just speaking as an ignorant bystander. 🙂

    • April 17, 2011
      Reply

      Thanks Nat – both for the words and for the support on the personal decision part!! It is pretty hard to imagine more, however I think in some ways having one alone makes life a lot trickier (and amazing too), so I don’t think it increases proportionately to the number of kids you have. That said, I certainly don’t want to get to a point where it’s all about crowd control, I always want my kids to know me one on one. Hmmmm…..thinking! 🙂

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