The Black Dog – or as I like to call it – “The Brownish Prairie Dog”

"The Black Dog" just sounds sad. At least this alternative has a chance of making you laugh at yourself. (Incidentally, this is pretty much exactly how I look first thing Tuesday mornings.) Image courtesy of cliff1066

Sorry to say that she’s attacking with a vengeance.

I don’t usually even like writing about it on here, preferring to instead just carry on as though everything’s fine. But you know, it’s not. And I don’t want to pretend. I don’t want to WALLOW mind you, but I don’t want to pretend. I think that’s what’s given this freaking thing it’s power in this world – by people feeling like it’s something that’s a sign of weakness, or freakiness and something that should thus be hidden away. But you know what?

That sucks balls. Big balls. Big gumballs that are past their useby date and are rotting in a cracked plastic takeaway container  in the “fill a bag” pile at a garage sale.

So anyway, I’ve resolved that wherever I can, even if I can’t beat the damn thing myself, I’ll at least not give it extra oomph by trying to keep it packed away in private. So Depression, here’s where I officially notify you that if you’re gonna live here, then you’re gonna have to become an exhibitionist like the rest of me!

In short, I’m trying to deal with the BPD (holy crazzballs – literally as I typed that I realised that “Brownish Prairie Dog” shares the same anacronym as “BiPolar Disorder – complete coincidence, I kid you not) as best I can by trying to:

1. Exercise my ass off, literally and figuratively; and

2. Fuel all grossness into the creative stuff. Oh by heavens you should see how many cartoons I’ve done in the past 24 hours alone!

3. Outpouring to my darling hubby, who is doing a tremendous job of just listening, nodding where appropriate and making me cups of tea.

Hmmm, in need of a punchline….

Somebody, please throw me a line. And I will PUNCH IT!

KAPOW!

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jennywynter Written by:

9 Comments

  1. October 22, 2010
    Reply

    Hey, little lady…you come here often?
    😉
    Seriously. Uh, I do. So, pull up a chair and let me buy you a drink. Better yet, let me remind you to also take your vitamins. And give you a virtual hug. You’re awesome and I love you.
    xo K

  2. Rachel
    October 22, 2010
    Reply

    Jen,

    just in case no one has told you today, YOU ARE AMAZINGLY AWESOME!

    I really appreciate your bravery and honesty. sometimes i’m a bit of alright, vaguely stylish,sometimes funny and up for adventure. Somedays it is truly a miracle if i can leave the house to buy milk before the shop shuts.

    hang in there, you are so on to it!

    1. enjoy the silly moments and embrace being a good and intelligent fruitcake
    2. attempt to find humour and or inspiration from the mega crap times
    3. sometimes embrace pj’s and bedhair as cutting edge fashion
    4. hugs and back tickles are magical
    5. remember to dance (i am always available as your back up dancer)

    much love
    rach

  3. Jade
    October 22, 2010
    Reply

    I will never buy a ‘fill a bag’ again. That dream is now dead. But don’t fear, BPD is something I’m now worried about too. The prairie version that is…I’m dreaming about it…seeing it/him/her when I turn around. I saw its eyes in my dogs eyes when he was asking for his evening meal…if only I had the gumballs in a ‘fill a bag’ to pull me through…

  4. Franipantz
    October 22, 2010
    Reply

    It almost feels like coming out the closet doesn’t it?
    And you’re right. There is a lot of stigma around depression that kinda makes you feel you have to hide it like some dirty little secret. Better out than your eye, as my dear little Irishman says. You’re not crazy (okay, maybe a little but in all the best ways!), you’re not sick, but it does eat away like a nibbling little b*stard that belongs back on the Prairie. Giving it a name helps distance yourself from it. It doesn’t belong to you, it’s not a part of you. And there will come a time when it’ll be gone and you won’t miss it for a second. Like when bad house guests leave, or a rash goes away. Facing it, staring it down and laughing at it all sound like great ways of beating it.

  5. October 23, 2010
    Reply

    Depression is my one constant companion in life. People say to deal with it, I find it better live with it. Get to know the warning signs of when you are going to have your bad times (not just days, it could be weeks or months) and try to mitigate the crash.
    A lot of people think I am unhappy, I just tend to not show it externally, because then the bad times are more noticeable to people.

    There truly is a sad face behind the clown.

  6. October 23, 2010
    Reply

    I’ve only recently found your site … now I know what has been missing in my day – a shot of “comic mummy”. In fact, I’ve been thinking of naming my favorite drink after you – a great concoction my hubby makes that has been needing a name.

    I love your humorous approach to all things life … you say it like it is – what most people would like to say if only they had the moxie. Thanks for sharing your, er, moxie.

  7. Franipantz
    October 23, 2010
    Reply

    Ooo btw – can’t wait to see the cartoons!!!

  8. viv
    October 24, 2010
    Reply

    I call mine ‘the little black terrier’ and treat it by bombarding my body with endorphins. Doesn’t stop it snapping at my heels but stops it getting it’s teeth in.

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