My Best Friend Frankie

This is Frankie.

(And me. In New York. AAAGGGHHH!!! I still can’t believe that happened!)

I first met Frankie six years ago, when she moved into the house next door.

The first I knew of their arrival was courtesy of their little girl Lilly, then two, came hurtling at full pace into our front yard, proceeded to jump, skip and cavort with my little Ella, then one, and then floated off as quickly as she’d arrived, calling out into the breeze: “Ella! Ella! You’re my BEST FRIEND!”

Soon after, Frankie and her very pregnant belly introduced herself to me and my very pregnant belly. We were due within two months of each other (as it would turn out, two months to the exact day) and what followed were shared meals, parties, child-wrangling, commiserating, laughing, board games, chocolate ingesting marathons, DVD nights and everything in between.

Soon, I would find myself floating off next door calling out into the breeze: “Frankie! Frankie! You’re my BEST FRIEND!”

She would then call the police.

I’ve learned so much from this truly wondrous part of my life:

– that the real, lasting, true friendships of your life aren’t ‘needy’. The connection you have will always be there, and you both know it and are secure in that, regardless of how much time has passed between drinks.

– that a true friend is one you can completely fall apart in front of, can reveal your darkest and ugliest innards, and also just laugh about something so ridiculous that it seems that nobody else on the planet Earth could even glimpse any semblance of humour in it. You can be completely fabulous and totally awful. You can let it all hang out for better and for worse. And know all the while that the other person will like you, lift you and love you.

– that at the end of my life, no matter what I’ve achieved or failed to achieve in terms of creative and career ambitions, to still have magical friendships in tact, will be amongst the greatest treasures. For I can’t imagine any Oscars holding me through my retirement and laughing with me when my catheter keeps falling out.

In a limo in NYC: living la vida loca!
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jennywynter Written by:

12 Comments

  1. August 4, 2010
    Reply

    Love this post, thanks for sharing Frankie with us!

    • August 4, 2010
      Reply

      You’re welcome – but she’s just on loan! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. August 4, 2010
    Reply

    Jen,
    Having a best friend is the world’s greatest gift, mine makes me laugh as much as Frankie does you. She is flying in from Korea next weekend and I am so excited I can’t sleep. If only they had Best-Friend commitment ceremonies… Or is that the bit where you drunkenly reinsert the catheter? Sip of Gin for me, sip of Gin for you…

    • August 4, 2010
      Reply

      Oh yay, Gem, that is so exciting!!!!

      Aha, perhaps the ceremony is where you reinsert the gin-feeding catheter? Or am I getting my tubes confused? Quite possible…

  3. August 4, 2010
    Reply

    Lovely post. I think I need to make a few phone calls. Thanks fir the reminder!
    X Al

    • August 4, 2010
      Reply

      I know you have a Frankie of your own, right?

      Lovely seeing you guys the other day too, nice job! xx

  4. August 4, 2010
    Reply

    I remain incredibly envious of women who have close friendships with other women.

    While I have good female friends, and some quite close, I don’t really have a “best friend”, not in the Frankie sense.

    I guess it’s probably to do with me; I don’t know that I make a good friend. I tend to get envious of women; generally I feel bad that I’m not as nice/talented as them, rather than be supportive and proud they’re my friend. And I tend to wonder aloud why people would want to be friends with me when I’m not a very nice person; and that makes people angry that I basically question their judgement.

    I don’t really have anyone I can call at a moment’s notice who’ll always be there for me, or someone to just hang out with.

    I do have best guy friends, but sometimes it’s just not the same.

    You and Frankie are both very lucky.

    • August 4, 2010
      Reply

      Wow, thanks for spilling all that Nat. I’m curious though, as those reasons don’t seem at first glance to be gender-specific. Do you mean that you don’t question your guy friends’ judgement at being friends with you, or feel the same envy towards guys?

      We are lucky. And I do know that! ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. August 5, 2010
    Reply

    I don’t really know, Jen. I guess so. I seem to envy all talented people. My mother always said jealousy was my deadly sin of choice.

    I assume things are always my fault because I always seem to do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing. I try so hard to do things for people – then I wind up with nothing at the end of it. Goes for guys as well as girls I suppose. I suppose you’re supposed to do things for friends without ever expecting anything in return – but is it too much to get a thank you? And it’s supposed to work both ways.

    However, I look back at my childhood and realise I never had a female “best friend” – it just seems I can’t form that deeper connection. Perhaps it is all my fault, that I’m too competitive, or something.

    I always think people don’t want to be friends with me because I’m needy, and selfish and not always the best listener. But maybe I just haven’t found the right female friend yet.

    I’m approaching a reasonably milestone-ish birthday, and my biggest fear is that if I decide to have a party, no one will come. Because they have better things to do.

    These are all things I’d like to talk about on my blog – but I just can’t. My parents read my blog and would worry. Other readers would just get sick of me whinging (again). My life is not horrible, I do have good friends, but I have this feeling that I’ve missed out on something. Perhaps I’m just imagining it, but anyway. Thanks for letting me whinge here. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • August 5, 2010
      Reply

      You’re welcome to whinge, any time!

      That’s really tricky – I dunno, it seems harsh that you’re blaming yourself though (oh boy, I don’t mean to sound like an Agony Aunt, forgive me!) when you’re in a successful – from where I stand it looks that way – long-term relationship, obviously you’re not too selfish, bad at listening or needy to be able to sustain that!

      As for the jealousy thing, that’s a tough one. I’m super competitive too, but I think I’m starting to get a bit better at just sucking it up when I feel envious and telling myself that there’s plenty of success to go around. Easier said than done sometimes, but my hubby put it well a while back, I wrote about it here (plus one of the comments is really interesting too):

      http://mylifeasaboob.wordpress.com/2009/05/25/chess-and-comedy-who-knew/

      And your party: I think you’ll be surprised by how many people love you, Nat. I get that even just by reading your blog. If it makes you feel any better, my 30th was spent breastfeeding my newborn and eating cucumber sandwiches, alone in snowy Canada! I’m planning a comeback party sometime…

      x

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