Image courtesy of Parada Creations. I am pretty much in love with her entire catalogue.
Before you read on, know upfront that I have no answers to how to address the problem mentioned in this title. I only have questions. I welcome suggestions.
This was all triggered by me putting together a “Year in Review” post – inspired in no small part by a 2010 post by the fabooshy Tess Waters – and already it’s been quite revelatory. And self-indulgent. And back to revelatory.
Reading all that has happened in 2011 according to this here blog has made me feel quite chuffed, disappointed, proud and…exhausted.
Why, oh why, do I insist on setting the bar so freaking high? Or rather, why must I insist on having multiple bars?
Here’s the thing: in the past six months I’ve finally done something which I’ve never done before. I focused on ONE project, that being “The Unexpected Variety Show.” I put everything I had into it and am now seeing the benefits of doing that. Things are happening. It’s gaining momentum. I owe this in a huge way to my sister-in-law Liz, who had a little intervention with me mid-year, kindly urging me to stop trying to kick a billion goals and instead just focus on one, to see where that might lead.
And she was right.
But now I find myself drawn to other ideas again, other projects that excite and inspire…great problem to have, but not great for my nervous system or my family’s chances of having a calm and content Mama in the house.
Plus, I feel like more than anything, I want to get better at just enjoying my life. Not just the moments of career milestones, but enjoying the simple things in each day. I want to savour making gluten free pancakes, to be content in tickling my kids til they cry, to relishing listening to Billie Holiday while sipping Moscato in a scented bath.
All of these I do currently, but I seem to never be able to enjoy without my mind ruining it by wandering to my endless to-do list and then beating myself up about not cracking through it as quickly as I want to.
How does one be content?
Crickets? I will even take advice from you, my six-legged silence-fillers.
P.S. This Year in Review post is coming soon. Brace yourself. I am.