So Jen, what’s the scariest part of adjusting to life with no functional feet?
Is it giving up spontaneous dancing in the supermarket?
Is it injecting your own squeamish self with blood thinners daily so that you don’t, you know, clot?
Is it not being able to duck the toilet quickly without anyone noticing but instead, having an entourage heralding the breaking of the bladder with a trumpet call?
Why no, my dear friends. All of this is grist for my memoirs…
…the truly terrifying part is the realisation that you’re going to have next to no income for the next six to eight weeks.
Let me put this mildly: CRIKEY.
Very, very sadly I’m not allowed back into the clown doctor world until I’m walking (health and safety issues) which is rather upsetting as I love the work so much and am missing it terribly, but yes. Also there’s that pesky money thing.
So…I’m trying to be ingenious here in thinking up ways that I can make at least some semblance of an income in these coming weeks. The first of which is imploring you to consider – not donating to me, I am not a charity and have no intention of behaving like one! – but to buy one of my DVDs. I’ll sign it and everything.
Even if you have one already, they make great gifts! I have nothing whatsoever to back that up other than saying it, but hey, if that ain’t stopping Trump, then it ain’t stopping me.
You can either:
Anybody who gets behind this will go in the draw for a comedy book prize pack! I’m going to put together a bunch of my favourite comedy books (including Tina Fey’s Bossy Pants, Fiona O’Loughlin’s Me of the Never, Never and a heap more) from my personal collection, kiss them, and send them to the lucky winner. Just purchase by Friday 5pm and you’ll be in the drawer.
Yours in huge thanks and codeine,