Ah, the conundrums of adding friends on Facebook

Image courtesy of chethstudios.net

UPDATE: Just got this facebook message from another of my ‘sorry I can’t friend you on my personal page’ recipients, a lovely lass called Manda. Haha, so it would seem, there are beautiful peeps in the world also. My heart can rest. Le sigh.

Hey Jenny,

Haha no no mental blank, we definately don’t know one another ‘personally’, I saw your stand up routine at the powerhouse a few weeks ago and wanted to keep track of where you’ll be performing next. You are one funny bitch… Thanks for giving my pelvic floor a good work out. I’ll check out your comedy page. Keep up the good work!

Manda x

So following my previous posts on this and how freaking fantastic I am at dealing with nastiness, this weekend I had the chance to put my hoity-toity (how the heck do you even spell that?) stance to the test.

You see, I recently decided to keep my facebook page just for personal peeps. That is, people I either know in person (thank you Captain Obvious) or have conversed with to a level where I feel like I know them.

So  – on the advice of the quite brilliant e-course in managing your creative business I did recently – I decided my new policy to deal with this would be to send a quick email to ‘unknown’ people who’d sent me a friends request, explain the deal and invite them to join my official facebook page if they so desired (some people who find me are either through cyberspace, blogging and/or have seen me onstage). i.e. I’m happy to be connected on facebook, just not on my personal page.

Which has so far been all good. I’ve had lovely emails from people, and people just signing up to the comedy page. And not. Whatever. Peeps can do as they please – I’m not the boss of the world (though please don’t tell my husband).

Points is, it’s all good.

Until Sunday morning, I get a message in my inbox saying:

To Jenny, I feel embarrrased at the effort put in to reject me…

Then, in a beautiful display of irony, he proceeds to write a message longer than my original – embarrassing me at the effort putting in to reject my rejection – no seriously you guys, I’m so embarrassed I can hardly bring myself to look my children in the eye – explaining HIS own indepth facebook friends policy. i.e. he immediately adds whoever Facebook suggests as friends when they keep popping up. He tells me that he does this up to ten times a day and so does not require an “in-depth explanation about your incongruent participation. In fact not only is it not a necessity but is actually quite of an annoyance.”

Really? You deal with ten a DAY? Seventy a WEEK?

Hmmmm…I think maybe it’s time to change that policy dude. Just a suggestion.

Anyway, this was all well and good – and then I read this:

PS And I’m not joining your fucking fansite.

Heehee. Okay, I am laughing now.




(Just to complete the picture, I’m saying that in the voice of Darth Vader right now).

PS I sent him back a message: “No worries. It’s all good. Have a hug.”

I have a feeling it might have been annoying.

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  1. Franipantz
    September 12, 2010

    There’s always one Jen. One, or two or perhaps several dozen whose struggles to relate to the real world overflow into lapses of complete insaneness. We can but shrug as you have done and send messages of niceties and wordly/worldly love and compassion. Bless their cotton socks…and I really hope they get some help soon with those feelings of loneliness and rejection. Seriously! Keep doing what you’re doing and pay no heed. They got their issues, you got yours – keep it that way. ;)X

    • September 13, 2010

      Thanks you guys! It’s all good, even just writing about it here made any angsty feelings of yuck fade away. As my hubby said “it’s one of the privileges of your occupation” – i.e. bad for life = good for comedy and/or blogging!

  2. Kerry
    September 12, 2010

    Then there’s also the dreaded “why did you remove me?” question. My friend list has gone from over 600 to 267 in the past month or so – I wanted to narrow it down like you to pretty much only friends, family and good acquaintances. I ran in to a girl and she said she hadn’t seen me on facebook in a while. OOPS. I didn’t know what to say so I just said my information must not be coming up in her feeds.

    I chickened out – I didn’t want to tell her she didn’t make the cut. If only I had a fan page… You handled it like a champ!

    • September 15, 2010

      Ooh dear, I haven’t had to deal with that one yet. Yikes! Not sure what I’d do in that situation!

  3. September 12, 2010

    How dare you ignore the rants of an obviously deranged fan. As president of the Deranged Union of Manic Brethren Agitating Responsible Social Entities (D.U.M.B.A.R.S.E.), I will now have to unfollow you in support of this raving loony.

    As Groucho Marxs said “I would never be a member of a club that would have me as a member”.

    Now if you will excuse me, I am off to have tea with a white rabbit, while working out why a raven is like a writing desk.

    • September 15, 2010

      You give me the best chuckles woman!!! When are you gonna come on tour?!?!!!!!!

  4. September 12, 2010

    I only have 36 friends on my personal FB page…I cut it down from 340…there is just no way to put a pithy update with that many people in your personal audience. For my personal page, I only have family and friends that are like family. The rest I steer to my fan page…seems to be working ok so far…and I feel like I am the master of my life again. I think you have to use Facebook as a tool…and be very specific about its uses…there is a way to not put your personal FB page in any search results. That helps me a lot…good luck with it…social networking still feels a lot like a bad high school dream to me sometimes.

    • September 15, 2010

      Thanks Stacie, especially for the tip about getting google to ignore your personal page…hmmm, must look into that! 🙂

  5. September 13, 2010

    I knew there was a reason why I don’t “do” facebook… I’m just too lazy for what sounds like a lot of hassle…

    • September 15, 2010

      Hey Julie, well usually I really love facebook, I guess this is just the downside! I focus my laziness more towards twitter and youtube. And you know, chid-minding.

    • September 15, 2010

      Kath!! Yay! I didn’t know you popped your head in here from time to time, marvellous! I read the blog, haha, very nicely put. It seems like they’re not updating it anymore though, bummer as I really liked what I saw there. Hope you’re doing well! x

  6. September 13, 2010

    🙂 You meet some strange people online.

    Seventy friend requests a week though? I think he exaggerates. Either that or all his friends are people who start their messages with “Dear Respected One. I am Wumi Abdul; the only Daughter of late Mr George Abdul, a very wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan…”

    • September 15, 2010

      I HOPE he exaggerates! The bottom line of all this, of course, is that he’s absolutely not somebody I’d want as a friend. Or a fan. If he was a fan, I think I’d need to have a long hard think about why my comedy is attracting that!

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